In a looking glass world !

Life for me has been changing at a non stop pace and though I wanted to put down into words all that has happened in the past couple of months or so,  I was so preoccupied with the daily chores that I couldn't  find  the time  , I finally braced myself to do it today .

Were you able to make out what does the title mean ? If you weren't, looking glass means topsy turvy . I feel that everyone should try to live at least one crazy adventure in their lifetime , this one was mine ! The moment I decided to leave everything and come down under ,adrenalin became a part of my life , the few jobless months ( just 2 ) in a freakishly expensive country taught me a lot about the value of a fulfilling meal and the monthly salary which we take for granted back home . I have also learned that a lot of life is not what you have planned ,but life is also what happens to you. I have been planning to move to Australia since 2012 and finally gathered the courage to apply for the visa in 2015 , funnily at the same time the company I was working for also filed my US visa and I was praying for being lucky enough to be successful there(Not because I wanted to go to the US but because it would have meant travelling to the country with a job security) ! I didn't make it in the US visa lottery but my Australian visa came through ! But I was disappointed because if I had travelled to US , it would have been a smooth sailing , while to move to Australia I had to gather the courage to risk what I had saved in the 10 years and leave a comfortable job(on top of it I had some personal responsibilities ).I was so scared that I had a panic attack and was hospitalised !

But now for the first time in my life I have this feeling that courage is overrated ! A lot of people appreciate my guts! I tell a secret to you - I was scared to death. Courage makes up about 10% of life-changing decisions. The other 90% is purely about wanting it with all your heart. And once everything worked out for good , I felt free. Its not that I was not free in India , but I have realised that if I am capable to give up every comfort at the blink of an eye to travel 1000s of miles away with no clarity of the future - I am capable of anything !

Life is no longer normal when you start from scratch in a place where you are at the mercy of the right timing. I have realised that normal is what is culturally and socially acceptable. A single girl in our country is considered to be in dire need of a man , its like being with a loser guy is better than being alone, whereas people here appreciate me for having the ability to make it on my own.

I have also become more patient and resilient since I have been here , when you are on your own you have to depend on the kindness of strangers , the simplest task becomes a huge challenge - like finding the right word ! I couldn't order for French fries for almost a month anywhere here because I didn't know they call them chips !

Living alone has its challenges and nostalgia strikes me every now and then - the billion people back home, the constant chaos on the roads , the constant honking of vehicles (it is an offence here) , the small family gatherings with some nosy relatives - I miss it all . Funnily enough these are the things I wanted to run away from !

I’m sure you’ve heard about life-changing trips. Well, they’re not a commonplace – living abroad is a trip that will profoundly change your life and who you are. It will shake up your roots, your certainties and your fears. Back home I used to think about love , hate , ego , fights - I have reconciled with most of my friends with whom I had a fallout over the years recently .Like somebody very well said that everything we touch can be replaced -wherever you travel, you’ll end up stockpiling new clothes, new books, new mugs. But there will come a day when you’ll suddenly feel at home in your new city. Home is the person traveling with you, the people you leave behind, the streets where your life takes place. Home is also the random stuff in your new flat, those things you’ll get rid of in the blink of an eye when the time to leave comes. Home is all those memories, all those long-distance calls with your family and friends, a bunch of pictures. Home is where the heart is. Home is tiny bits of you scattered in all the places you have been to. This was my life changing experience - it has taught me that we are here for just a limited amount of time and its our responsibility to make the best out of it !

Now I know what it means to give up comfort, what starting from scratch and marvelling at the world every day feels like. And it being such a huge, endless world… How could you choose not to keep traveling and discovering it? Next year I am travelling to Canada and probably to the US !!

Hasta la vista baby !

It is time for me to bid farewell to you , so I thought I will take this opportunity to write my blog which has been dead for almost two years now !
So , I have been writing and rewriting my farewell note and I still don't know whether the one I have finally come up with is good enough or not ,  especially when I am feeling disorientated trying to ignore the fears creeping into my mind that migrating to another end of the world, to a country which is at another end of the world was a stupid and way-too-hard idea.
It is overwhelming saying goodbye to your friends and family as you head off into the unknown with a heavy bulky backpack on your shoulders, a rough idea of your route and a long haul flight to get through. Migrating to another land by yourself is the most incredible feeling in the world but with this freedom and excitement sometimes comes waves of trepidation and doubt. I’ve been there.But after a series of mild panic attacks , I have eventually realized , I will handle it...

I am 31 fucking years old , 10 years back I thought by this time I would have settled down , but as you grow up and begin to know yourself, you start putting pieces of your personality together. What I have discovered is maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they just need to run free until they find someone just as wild to run with them. I have been lucky enough that the folks who brought me in this world, know me more than myself ,and in a country where marriage is considered to be the ultimate destination for any woman , they have allowed me to do what makes me happy. Like Tina Fey (my favorite person in the world) , I too , want to thank my parents for somehow raising me to have confidence that is disproportionate with my looks and abilities. Well done -- that is what all parents should do.

Coming back to my farewell note (today looks a good day to bid adieu being both Indian Republic day and Australia day ) this is for you friend - 

No one knows the exact moment when a friendship is formed, but it is this silent forgotten moment that causes the pain when we must say goodbye. But my friend, even if we say goodbye and our paths never cross again , I hope you keep a memory of me always.... I hope you remember our pointless conversations and silly laughter and I hope you never forget to believe in yourself... I hope you never lay alone at night doubting your own worth... I hope you fall in love with someone who knows all your imperfections but still looks at you like you are magic and I hope that you fall in love with inner beauty...I hope you are motivated by the desire to achieve , not by the desire to beat others , because the race is long , and in the end it's only with yourself.. and most of all I hope you always know that you are loved beyond measure and no matter what you do and where life takes you , I hope you remember - You have a friend...

Mas vale Tarde que nunca !!

Hello ! My little dumplings ! I have been meaning to pen down my thoughts for quite a while now. It is so ingrained in my mind I tell you , " Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing." Blessed are those who can do the latter , as for me the former is an easy alternative. I happen to use the right side of my brain more than the left. In other words I am a creative person. Having said that, I absolutely worship those who are a zillion times more talented than me in any of the creative arts.Of the many forms of creativity, advertising is something that is accessible to almost everyone to consume, thanks to the magic of syndication.If you do observe advertisements carefully , then you might have noticed a very sweet ad of Tanishq jewellery being broadcast these days.There is a dusky woman in the ad who is shown putting on jewellery for her wedding. In the next shot we see a little girl peeking through the door. The girl comes inside the room and we learn that the little girl is her daughter.They both go outside and in the next sequence we see the woman taking pheras with the new man in her life.In the midst of the phera ceremony the little girl yells , "Mumma , I also want to go round and round." These makes the woman squirm a little as she looks nervously at her daughter.Before she could say anything , her new husband asks the little girl to come and join them. The three of them are now going round the holy fire.The expression on the woman's face at this time is priceless, she looks relieved and happy at the same time.

In many ways the ad is ground breaking, as not only does it show remarriage , which is still a taboo in our culture , in a positive light ; but  it has subtle nuances to  it which are far more pleasant if you could put in the pieces together and conjure the bigger picture.

The beauty of the ad lies in the fact that there is no remorse or emotional trauma shown to justify the second marriage. We don't even know whether her ex-husband died or they got divorced or he just plainly left.This is a very bold step in a society which looks divorce with contempt and believes in the sanctity of marriage at any cost. More often than not I get into heated discussions with people on the topic of separation in case of an unhappy relationship. I get surprised with the response that I get from people and their views on such sensitive issues.One person told me once that divorce is for retards. When I gave some strong reasons for separation like physical abuse , emotional abuse , cheating , drugs , drinking and so on , the person got somewhat convinced that it is valid only in case of physical abuse . I was again disappointed , does this mean there is no justification for separation in  the rest of the cases or even for the separation of those unfortunate people who are just plain unhappy ? I am not saying that you don't need to work on the marriage.Every relationship is hard work, but if after all your efforts, you can not find happiness together, isn't it logical to go your separate ways so that both of you can find someone who really makes you happy.

The ad is a small step towards the bigger change which the Indian society will see in at least 10 years from now. It has come as a breath of fresh air in our Bourgeois society , though it has come very late in time , but as the Spanish say - Mas vale tarde que nunca !! (Better late , than never !!)

Che` Bella Donna !!!

Sometime back I had read an American woman named Michelle's blog about her travels to Italy. I saved the link of the blog, but forgot to save the address to the pointer of the link in my brain.In other words, I have lost the link.I had saved it because I wanted to share one of her posts with you all.As that intention of mine has gone down the drain, I have decided to recreate that post from my memory.Please bear in mind that only the words are mine ,the idea is not.

Michelle , if you are reading this , please consider that this is not a rip off of your post but an homage to the contrary.Also, please share the link of your blog with me. I more than love your posts.

                                              Che` Bella Donna !!                       starts here ...... (the title is my idea and is  Italian for:- That attractive Woman !!)

Italian women are beautiful and on top of that, they wear body hugging clothes with plunging necklines and narrow waistlines.Their silhouettes glow in the scorching Italian heat as the material of the clothing hugs their skin so tightly that when an Italian woman walks , her body swivels as the naked body would swivel , which is pretty much the idea.They have long cascading dark hair which beautifully contrast their fair and flawless skin.Strolling in the streets of Rome one day I saw one such angel.She was wearing a sexy black dress with the neckline so low that it could barely keep her breasts.She was very tall and the dress was trying to touch her knees.Her gold stilettos matched perfectly with the danglers in her ears.Her shiny black mascara highlighted her big brown eyes which sparkled  in the afternoon Italian sun.She was walking in leisure in the crowded streets of Rome and there was not a single eye which wasn't fixated on her.
I have been told many a times that I am a woman of above average looks.I have noticed myself that when I walk down the streets a few heads do turn.But that day , no one even looked my way, all eyes were on that magnificent angel who appeared to have descended from a forbidden land.
She continued to pace forward not looking at anyone and quite lost in herself.I looked at her and thought,"Huh ! What an attitude!" and started walking in the opposite direction. Suddenly I changed my mind and decided to walk up to her to complement  her on her beauty.I went close to her and spoke in broken Italian.She stared back at me with a perplexed expression on her face. I told her again and this time she realized that I was serious. She smiled and said ,"Grazie Mille " (Thank you very much) and continued walking.
I noticed from a distance that she was still smiling to herself.It was then that it struck me , she was not aware of the eyes that were on her in the street.She was so comfortable with herself that everything else around her was almost non-existential.
This is what makes Italian women so beautiful.Being an Italian woman is about being beautiful and not caring what anyone else is thinking about you.I wish I some day muster up the courage to wear a sexy beautiful dress, it may not be quite like the one that woman was wearing in the busy Italian market of Rome,but  at least I wish that  I will be able to flaunt it with the same attitude with which she flaunted it.
I have been in Italy for quite a while now and people always ask me what am I doing in Rome?
Well , I am working on that attitude!


  

The perfect Goodbye....

It is funny isn't it ? Our mind . Here I was trying to study some important chapter for my certification exam and my mind was asking me questions. Haven't you been out of commission from your writing for over a month now? What is it , have you run out of ideas ? It is so typical ! Typical of you ! You just can't focus on one thing can you ? One day it is painting , the other day writing and yes how can I forget the infamous Guitar phase?

These questions continued for quite a while and then I brushed them off . I concentrated on the task at hand , finished a chapter from my brand new Management Guide and promised myself that next morning I will work on my new post. I keep my promises - Always .

I went to wave good bye to a friend recently. She and I became friends somehow in a short time span. I liked her company (I hardly like people to tell you the truth ). Then the day arrived , she had decided to take on a new career opportunity and bade good bye to this wonderful city.

That day I got thinking about Good byes. We meet so many people everyday  And it so happens that one day or the other , we end up saying good bye to some of them. This happens so much so that sometimes we forget how important it is to say these two words - Good Bye...

 I learnt the importance of Good byes from my father. His job makes him travel to a lot of places and as a result he is away most of the time.The incidence happened when I was going away from home for the first time to start my life as an independent girl.I got the job while I was still in college and after completion of my college degree I was supposed to join the firm. The day arrived and I packed my bags excitedly. I was very happy to be on my own. I had a train ticket and the journey was one night. My father was on tour at that time too. The station he was posted at that time happened to be on the way of my journey. The train didn't stop at that station but he told me that  he would come there to send me off. The train started at about 2 in the afternoon and my father told me that he expects the train to arrive at 8 in the evening at the town he was stationed. It is very common for Indian rails to be delayed and my train was not an exception. It was around 9 p.m. when the station arrived . The train slowed down but didn't stop. I looked out the window and saw my father frantically searching for me. I shouted loudly and he looked my way. He frantically started waving his hands , I could see that his eyes lit up.He was so happy to see me , to just stand there and mutter Good bye while the train kept on gaining momentum.All my life , I will not forget that moment.

I never understood till that day why it is important to accompany someone to the airport ,to the bus stand or to the railway station. It is because the image stays with you forever.

The experience with my father is tattooed in  my memory. But there are some experiences in our life , we struggle to forget. It so happened that someone very close to me decided to leave. I understand leaving, but isn't it your responsibility to inform your loved ones that you have decided to take off. I have lost all respect for the person in question, but at the same time learnt the importance of closure.Yes , it would have been painful to stand there and watch him go , but not as painful as wondering every single day about his reason for leaving without a formal Good bye. Somehow this incidence reminded of one of the Seinfeld episodes. There was a scene where Jerry and Elaine argue about the opposite of Good bye. Elaine argues that the opposite is Bad Bye , while Jerry stresses that Bad Bye is still Good Bye. Do you realize the depth of his observation? It doesn't matter how bad things got, or how hard it is to say Good Bye as it sounds like a Bad Bye, you owe it to the person to formally know that it is time to call quits and of course - Good Luck and Good Bye......

That is why it is customary in most cultures to call all the near and dear ones when a person passes away into the next realm.It is important to bid Farewell and feel sorrow for a while- it helps you to move on ,till the next GOOD BYE.....

That moment of anticipation.......

Let me tell you something , I never watched Winnie the Pooh as a kid. Ummmm.. Let me rephrase that, I haven't watched Winnie the Pooh ever. I know the names of some of the characters ...Winnie , piglet , rabbit , tigger .. I know that Winnie is a bear and he likes honey....He wears a red shirt with no pants.....That's all your honor ! That is all I know about Winnie the Pooh.

Romans had social baths we have social networking sites.I would be lying if I say that I have never wandered to some unknown person's account to see his pictures or never read his wall posts or never been to the "About Me" section of his profile. I was passing time by doing exactly that when I came across this beautiful quotation by A.A. Milne :- “"Well," said Pooh, "what I like best -- " and then he had to stop and think. Because although Eating Honey was a very good thing to do, there was a moment just before you began to eat it which was better than when you were, but he didn't know what it was called”

Do you feel the beauty of the quote ? So simple , yet so deep.

The greatest moments in life are those of anticipation.The moment when you are waiting for the result of your exam, the moment when you are waiting in a small room for the outcome of your job interview , the moment when you are waiting in line for your US visa , the moment when you are waiting for the vacation which begins next week , the moment when you lay eyes on a girl and decide in your heart that you will one day marry her, the moment when you do propose to her and are waiting on a reply , the moment when you are pacing frantically outside in the hospital corridor before the doctor comes close to you and whispers ,"It's a boy !" These moments are unlimited in number and though the day you get married has a name , the countless days and nights you wonder about your wedding day don't .We would be so much happier if we realize that when things are not happening , these precious moments of anticipation are getting prolonged , if you ask any guy he will tell you , the chase is more fun than the actual relationship !

At the end of the day we return to our glass half full and glass half empty analogy. It all depends on how you want to put it.You may choose to feel bad about the fact that you still don't have your dream job or you may smile that someday you would be doing your dream job and till then just sit back and enjoy the application process.I mean think about it , the day Ted meets the mother of his children , How I met your mother is finished.

It it is up to us to put a positive spin on everything , A.A. Milne did . He even made separation a good thing by writing,''How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.”