In a looking glass world !

Life for me has been changing at a non stop pace and though I wanted to put down into words all that has happened in the past couple of months or so,  I was so preoccupied with the daily chores that I couldn't  find  the time  , I finally braced myself to do it today .

Were you able to make out what does the title mean ? If you weren't, looking glass means topsy turvy . I feel that everyone should try to live at least one crazy adventure in their lifetime , this one was mine ! The moment I decided to leave everything and come down under ,adrenalin became a part of my life , the few jobless months ( just 2 ) in a freakishly expensive country taught me a lot about the value of a fulfilling meal and the monthly salary which we take for granted back home . I have also learned that a lot of life is not what you have planned ,but life is also what happens to you. I have been planning to move to Australia since 2012 and finally gathered the courage to apply for the visa in 2015 , funnily at the same time the company I was working for also filed my US visa and I was praying for being lucky enough to be successful there(Not because I wanted to go to the US but because it would have meant travelling to the country with a job security) ! I didn't make it in the US visa lottery but my Australian visa came through ! But I was disappointed because if I had travelled to US , it would have been a smooth sailing , while to move to Australia I had to gather the courage to risk what I had saved in the 10 years and leave a comfortable job(on top of it I had some personal responsibilities ).I was so scared that I had a panic attack and was hospitalised !

But now for the first time in my life I have this feeling that courage is overrated ! A lot of people appreciate my guts! I tell a secret to you - I was scared to death. Courage makes up about 10% of life-changing decisions. The other 90% is purely about wanting it with all your heart. And once everything worked out for good , I felt free. Its not that I was not free in India , but I have realised that if I am capable to give up every comfort at the blink of an eye to travel 1000s of miles away with no clarity of the future - I am capable of anything !

Life is no longer normal when you start from scratch in a place where you are at the mercy of the right timing. I have realised that normal is what is culturally and socially acceptable. A single girl in our country is considered to be in dire need of a man , its like being with a loser guy is better than being alone, whereas people here appreciate me for having the ability to make it on my own.

I have also become more patient and resilient since I have been here , when you are on your own you have to depend on the kindness of strangers , the simplest task becomes a huge challenge - like finding the right word ! I couldn't order for French fries for almost a month anywhere here because I didn't know they call them chips !

Living alone has its challenges and nostalgia strikes me every now and then - the billion people back home, the constant chaos on the roads , the constant honking of vehicles (it is an offence here) , the small family gatherings with some nosy relatives - I miss it all . Funnily enough these are the things I wanted to run away from !

I’m sure you’ve heard about life-changing trips. Well, they’re not a commonplace – living abroad is a trip that will profoundly change your life and who you are. It will shake up your roots, your certainties and your fears. Back home I used to think about love , hate , ego , fights - I have reconciled with most of my friends with whom I had a fallout over the years recently .Like somebody very well said that everything we touch can be replaced -wherever you travel, you’ll end up stockpiling new clothes, new books, new mugs. But there will come a day when you’ll suddenly feel at home in your new city. Home is the person traveling with you, the people you leave behind, the streets where your life takes place. Home is also the random stuff in your new flat, those things you’ll get rid of in the blink of an eye when the time to leave comes. Home is all those memories, all those long-distance calls with your family and friends, a bunch of pictures. Home is where the heart is. Home is tiny bits of you scattered in all the places you have been to. This was my life changing experience - it has taught me that we are here for just a limited amount of time and its our responsibility to make the best out of it !

Now I know what it means to give up comfort, what starting from scratch and marvelling at the world every day feels like. And it being such a huge, endless world… How could you choose not to keep traveling and discovering it? Next year I am travelling to Canada and probably to the US !!

Hasta la vista baby !

It is time for me to bid farewell to you , so I thought I will take this opportunity to write my blog which has been dead for almost two years now !
So , I have been writing and rewriting my farewell note and I still don't know whether the one I have finally come up with is good enough or not ,  especially when I am feeling disorientated trying to ignore the fears creeping into my mind that migrating to another end of the world, to a country which is at another end of the world was a stupid and way-too-hard idea.
It is overwhelming saying goodbye to your friends and family as you head off into the unknown with a heavy bulky backpack on your shoulders, a rough idea of your route and a long haul flight to get through. Migrating to another land by yourself is the most incredible feeling in the world but with this freedom and excitement sometimes comes waves of trepidation and doubt. I’ve been there.But after a series of mild panic attacks , I have eventually realized , I will handle it...

I am 31 fucking years old , 10 years back I thought by this time I would have settled down , but as you grow up and begin to know yourself, you start putting pieces of your personality together. What I have discovered is maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they just need to run free until they find someone just as wild to run with them. I have been lucky enough that the folks who brought me in this world, know me more than myself ,and in a country where marriage is considered to be the ultimate destination for any woman , they have allowed me to do what makes me happy. Like Tina Fey (my favorite person in the world) , I too , want to thank my parents for somehow raising me to have confidence that is disproportionate with my looks and abilities. Well done -- that is what all parents should do.

Coming back to my farewell note (today looks a good day to bid adieu being both Indian Republic day and Australia day ) this is for you friend - 

No one knows the exact moment when a friendship is formed, but it is this silent forgotten moment that causes the pain when we must say goodbye. But my friend, even if we say goodbye and our paths never cross again , I hope you keep a memory of me always.... I hope you remember our pointless conversations and silly laughter and I hope you never forget to believe in yourself... I hope you never lay alone at night doubting your own worth... I hope you fall in love with someone who knows all your imperfections but still looks at you like you are magic and I hope that you fall in love with inner beauty...I hope you are motivated by the desire to achieve , not by the desire to beat others , because the race is long , and in the end it's only with yourself.. and most of all I hope you always know that you are loved beyond measure and no matter what you do and where life takes you , I hope you remember - You have a friend...