When in Rome...

It was a lazy summer afternoon and I was curled up in my bed  flipping the pages of my new Italian Learner's Guide . The sun is merciless these days , thanks to the flourishing real estate market  and rapidly vanishing trees. I lost track of time and dozed off with the book on top of my head. I was woken up with the sudden sound of my cell phone. Ahhhh! I had messed up the am pm and at 5 in the evening , I was woken up by what I believe was a mini heart atack. I splashed cold water on my face , poured myself a cup of hot coffee , grabbed a pen ,a clean white sheet of paper and started assembling  the numerous thoughts that  rent a considerable space of my brain.
Have you ever written an article , an essay , a column or even done anything remotely close to staring a blank paper while biting the rear end of your very inexpensive pen? If yes, then you probably understand how frustrating it can be to come up with something to fill the everlasting space on paper with the gems called ‘words’. I am no expert in the art of technical writing. I write because I feel like it. But if you ask me , the only way anyone can write is by reading as much as possible while keeping an observant eye .Believe me , inspiration is everywhere. The other day I was reading some random travel blogs and came across some good blogs by an American woman named Teressa about her experiences in Italy.  Anyone who knows me well  knows that my favorite place in the world is Italy. The country speaks passion, beauty, cuisine, fashion, life and love. Almost every day I dream about roaming the crowded streets of Rome or just enjoying a hot cappuccino with two cannolis in one of the many street cafes  in Tuscany while admiring the scarlet sky at the cusp of dusk and night. Che' Dolce Vita !!

But when I read Teressa’s blog I came to know that Rome is not very different from my own country – India. You can feel the same madness (well ,almost the same ) while strolling the lanes of Rome too. Por lo tanto , te presento the striking resemblance between the love of my life and the one I am stuck with.

Both in Rome and in India:-

if you are waiting for your food  in a street side café while leisurely reading a romance novella, you will probably end up hungry, take charge, just don’t stand at the back of the line and  wait for things to appear, you have to go in front and beat the counter for prompt service !

if a two wheeler passes an inch away from your toes, don’t be surprised ! Don’t hold yourself back,let the expletives fly. Traffic lights suffer from mood swings and believe me they are more fickle than the craziest woman you have ever met!

people are always in a hurry to get somewhere and more often than not traffic rules are an unknown phenomenon. The constant honking will make your head dizzy and at times you will suspect that your ear drums might have burst.Cars will come to a screeching halt and the driver will give you a crooked eye for ever being born.

although people are always in a hurry , you will have to wait forever for everything. There are queues in government offices and the officers are never to be found, if you are waiting for a store owner to return from his afternoon break , you may end up looking at him from a distance while he is engaged in a lively conversation with the nearby vendor on the sidewalk.

the cost of things may vary according to your luck , the store owner’s mood , your bargaining abilities and sometimes according to the language you speak. If you speak the local language , you are in luck.Still the chances of you getting ripped off are higher than spotting a cow in the streets of India. The local people see tourists as prey and even a simple coffee will cost you a lot if you have it around a tourist location.

the streets are crowded , rusty , polluted and noisy. If you have to cross the street , ask forgiveness for all of your sins as this might be the last time your body and soul are one.Cross your fingers and make a dash to the other side, at this very moment your  heart will jump out of your chest and your feet will develop a brain of their own.

at the corners of the streets , on parked vehicles  or just walking past you , you may find groups of young men leering you up and down and passing comments in the native language .Don’t pay any attention to them.They are pretty much harmless if you can handle annoyance and hold a black belt.

If you are an Aussie, Britt or American , these things may come as a surprise to you. But once you fall into the rhythm , you will gradually start enjoying the song , try tapping your feet to the beat and in no time you will be dancing as if no one is watching.There is a different way to get things done , try falling into the craziness for once. You still don't have your coffee , go the shop owner and ask for it! You hate the way people drive , rent a vespa and take a ride yourself ! Someone shoots obscenities at you , open the dictionary and learn some bad words to return the favor !You are a woman , a sexy one at that , enjoy the attention ! Once you get used to the madness, you will realise that people are not bad at heart. They will go out of their way to help you with things.

I am glad that I am used to the crazy rhythm of the dream which I wish one day becomes a reality. People say, ‘When in Rome , do what the Romans do.’ Ummm…. Well … you can do what the Indians do too.

Alice and the myth of the wonderland

Down,down,down.Would the fall never come to an end!  Haven’t we all been there ? Come on now! It’s a no brainer.  Alright , alright. I mean with Alice ,to the wonderland. Geez ! Was that so tough ? You know what , I understand. We are all mad here. I mean , who knows what the hell  half of us are thinking at any given point of time? So, alright you are reading this. But how can I possibly be sure that what you understand is the same thing I wanted to convey when I wrote it.Oh! forget that , even I am not sure what I want to convey as I am writing it.I started with the vague idea of jotting down how when we were young  we thought that the world is a wonderland and then we grow up and life screws us down , we deduce that it isn’t. Now what is new about that.It is almost in every book. The remedy in turn is another self help book. How much it helps ? Well ,you tell me.I know I am kind of rambling here. I have lost my train of thoughts.

Al righty then , I am all aboard. What makes any one do anything ? Take me for example, why am I writing this? Why people are the way they are ? If you are reading this I assume you have had your fair share of friendships and animosities. Why it is that we hate some people almost the moment we meet them and fall head over heels in love with a few others?  If you are not an addict then you must have wondered ,how some people get hooked on prescription drugs? I am not vain and so I am sure that you are not a celebrity (give me a break now you would not be reading my blog if you were Brad Pitt) , in that case you must have wondered , why is it that celebrities change partners with the same frequency with which they change their outfits?

Everyday a lot of questions pop into my head. But that’s just me. A lot of people talk about the state of absolute thoughtlessness. The state where the mind is cleared of all the thoughts and ultimate peace is achieved. To attain this state one needs a lot of concentration. Over the ages, yogis and spiritual leaders have mastered the art of controlling their mind. But isn't the very thing which separates us from the animals is our ability to think. Imagine where we all be today if nobody had thought of electricity or fire or the wheel or even cooked food for that matter? Where actually are we headed with this thoughtlessness , back to the stone age ? I know I am answering my own question ,but when someone tells you the state of thoughtlessness , he is probably talking about the thoughts of the past. Yes , it is necessary to get rid of ‘the ghost of Christmas past’. I read somewhere that looking too long in the rear view mirror will distract you from looking what lies ahead. I confess to have dwelled too much in the past myself. It is attractive after all, its first selling point being not the unknown. Have you realized how your own house looks scary at night? It is because you cannot see it in the dark. In our mind we assume that someone is lurking in the shadows.I would have been very rich if I had had a nickel for every time I heard ,”Only if I could see into my future for once.”  We are scared of the future because we don’t know what is it going to bring to the table. Now, thoughtlessness is hard to achieve. So, we are left with two options ; either to worry about the future constantly or to form a pretty picture in our mind about what life is about to bring. It may bring us lonely walks of despair in the streets or romantic rides with our loved one in the Gondolas in Vatican City.But at least thinking about a happier tomorrow will bring a smile across your lips in the present moment. That is why ‘Alice in wonderland’ is such a classic, even when, the wonderland is a myth.

It's not to kill a mocking bird

I was a teenager when I first saw this book in my classmate’s hand. I asked her what does the title mean? Do I need to read between the lines to understand it? She was a blunt one and quickly retorted,”What does mocking mean?” . I replied being the meek one ,”making fun of someone.” She then added,” so make out the meaning now.”I put up the pieces together and came to the conclusion that the title means ,’ how to tackle someone who is making fun of you’.

It was not until I was 23 years old and purchased the book for myself and read it page after page , that I came to know that the book was much more deeper than what I thought it to be. The protagonist of the book is the best father any child can have. The book in itself is a Bible for moral teachings. The author has so vividly described the childhood of the two kids that the reader is bound to reminisce about his childhood while turning the pages. The  children running to the corner of the street to escort Atticus when he comes back from work, Scout not wanting to go to school ,Dill running away from his house,the children boasting about running as close as possible to the scary neighbor’s front yard and the stories about the neighbourhood monster.Harper Lee’s humor is subtle but an observant reader would admire its depth. Only a literary genius can write,” Until I feared I would lose it, I never loved to read. One does not love breathing."

The book very well describes that how the events which we witness in our childhood shape our outlook for the rest of our life. It exemplifies how adults are more or less resposible for setting examples for the children. Scout and Jem learn some valuable life lessons while growing up ,not only from their father but from their neighbors and even from their Black maid Calpurnia. Atticus makes Jem go to read to their cranky neighbor Mrs Dubose as a punishment for destroying her Camellias. But it is only after Mrs Dubose passes away , Atticus reveals the real reason behind it. When Jem becomes perplexed as why his father wanted him to read to a morphine addict? And even so, why did Mrs Dubose in her very last days wanted to quit her morphine addiction ? Atticus says ,” I wanted you to see what real courage is, instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand. It’s when you know licked before you begin but you begin anyway…you rarely win, but sometimes you do. Atticus further explains that as Mrs Dubose was old,terminally ill and was about to die soon , she could have continued with her addiction to ease the pain , but she chose otherwise , she wanted to die unattached to anything or anyone and she succeeded.

In an another incident, when Atticus shoots a crazy dog in their neighbourhood and Scout is numb with surprise as till that point the children weren't aware about Atticus's knowledge of shooting with guns.Miss Maudie Atkinson tells her that ,”people in their right minds are never proud of their talents.”

The children even learn something when they visit Church with their maid Calpurnia.They notice that when Calpunia is at their house,she speaks in a more refined manner.At Church, while talking to her people , she is talking like them.Scout asks her," Why did you talk like them when you know better ?Calpurnia teaches her that people need to learn on their own ,and if they don’t want to learn , there is nothing you can do but to speak their language. Most people don’t like someone knowing more than themselves.

The list of these lessons is so big that it is a subject of another article.But the most important of all lessons Scout learns from Atticus is ,you cannot understand people unless you walk in their shoes. The book sure deals with the sensitive issue of racial discrimation in the olden days and the typical outlook of white people towards black people,but it has some real sweet moments which make it so adorable .I sure am in love with each and every page of this extraordinary book . The cheerful banter between Scout and Jem , Jem’s withdrawal into his own little world with the onset of teenage, the children’s anguish on the arrival of their Aunt , Scout’s rivalry with Calpurnia in the beginning.The book is a classic because it is written with the outlook of a child and you can admire it only when you have outgrown your childhood but still have those marvelous childhood memories in your heart.

So my friend , if you are reading this , specifically for you I am quoting Atticus ,” Kill all the bluejays you want but remember, it is a sin to kill a mockingbird.”Mockingbird in the book signifies the innocent people who are victims of society.In this case the black people who were exploited by the white people and this kind of exploitation my friend is a sin !

My fellow Theists !!

Theism in a broader sense is the belief that there exists a divine power which is the creater ,the organizer , and the destroyer of all that is tangible and even more all that is intangible. In  a nutshell, it means that one day God created universe and since then had been providing for all the fellow residents.  Don’t get me wrong but I am not here to write a thesis supporting the almighty nor am I here to justify Darwin’s theory of evolution. To tell you the truth , I fall into the third category of believers or the non believers –I am a skeptic.  Having said that ,I really respect those who have the gift of faith. It is a blessing really to have an assurance that a messiah is backing you in every walk of your life. Now I know it is even more ambiguous when I admit that I revere the non believer too for he believes that there is a logical reason for the string of  events which take place and your actions are reflected in the outcomes. According to these very wise individuals  ,’Karma is a bitch!’ . And that’s fine too , this is a rational belief system too ,based strictly on Newton’s third law of motion.

The focal point of my concern are the superstitions which go along with the religious beliefs and the haughtiness of the non believers. I was watching a new American Suspense Drama the other day and had a major epiphany. The story revolved around a young boy barely in his post teenage years,who claimed to have conversations with God. The protagonist of the series Dr. Daniel Pierce is a neuropsychiatrist  who has a long history of paranoid schizophrenia. During his work on one of the cases,Daniel comes across this young boy. He asks the boy ,whether he sees God ?And ,are these so called conversations often accompanied by severe headaches and uneasiness and if so, he suggests him to immediately get a checkup as he suspects him to be suffering from brain tumor. The boy agrees to have all the symptoms but refuses to get any kind of checkup as he believes if it is the only way God can talk to him, so be it. Later during an accidental checkup doctors tell the boy’s parents about the tumor. His parents regret having not listened to Daniel at first.

While I was watching it , I was suddenly reminded of my childhood days when my mother used to take me to Durga Puja Pandals and a few of the very devout ones  used to make the same claim. Now , I am not saying that they all had brain tumors , but hallucination is a renowned medical condition. Most of the religious practices stem from a lack of education and moreover an unwillingness to come out of the shackles of social establishment.Isn’t it hypocrisy to believe in a God who created us all equal and then looking down upon a human being because his religion calls the same God by another name. When did it become necessary to donate a million dollar crown to a very comfortable God in an exquisite temple whilst walking straight by a hungry child who is shrieking in the lap of his grief stricken malnourished mother.I don’t know when did God start enjoying “Munni Badnam Hui” as a prayer because I still find solace in the old Sanskrit shlokas that my father taught me. In the ancient days they sacrificed virgins by killing them, today they do so by raping them.

Consequently ,the people with beliefs are more or less responsible for the widespread disbelief. The behavioral examples set by the believers encourage the non believers to justify their acts.I am not a promoter of atheism because sometimes the faith that a higher power is watching our actions define our moral boundaries. And these kind of moral boundaries can do nothing but good for a rational mind who believes in the law of equal and opposite reaction.  Moreover,I for one do not negate the possibility that atheists are comparatively more depressed . Statistics show that theists have a greater purpose in life and hence are considerably happy.  The non believer  argues that whatever happens is a consequence of his actions and hence he himself is solely responsible for the events that transpire in his life. But this is not absolutely true , there are some things which are beyond a person’s control . These things are a part of a divine plan which may have been devised by the almighty, the nature or is just plain destiny. But someone lacking faith would keep on orbiting around what has or has not happened .Such kind of cause and effect analysis is sometimes futile as not everything can be explained in binary.

My religion as a result of these extremities is humanism. And the principles are quite simple . The only purpose of each and every day should be to be as happy as possible. The only God I believe in is each and every person who can teach me something or rather anything. The only fast I keep is not to hurt anyone in any way. Life is too short and there is a lot I have to do. Everyone has a to-do list they need to get to once in a while .Mine is rather big and involves a lot of add ins per day. I may not visit a temple but I do thank god everyday for he let me open my eyes in the morning and let me see the light of the day for many live in the darkness even when the lamp in the abode of the God burns in its full glory.

El uno en el que todos se vuelvan 30

So, you are wondering what the title means. Well , it means "the one where they all turn 30'.Rings a bell right all ya 'FRIENDS' fans out there.The episode begins with everybody but Rachel  standing outside Rachel's bedroom asking her to come out to get her birthday presents.She comes out and asks ,"Can I keep the presents and still be 29?"

The first time I watched that episode, I was still a kid.Now, as I am on the wrong side of 25, hurtling towards 'The BIG three O' with the speed of light ,I truelly understand her agony.But ,what is so attractive about the twenties ? The skin tone ? The carefree life ? Or may be it is just the lure of the youth . I don't know ! I am out of my depths here. 

Well , I can say for myself that I have a backlog of tasks I want to finish before I turn 30. I don't know I will be able to get through all of them or not, but hey! nobody is stopping anyone from     trying. Well, 30s or no 30s , time sure takes away a load of things away from us. Remember how easy it was for us to make friends when we were kids ? Remember how easy it was to fall in love when we were teenagers?Remember how easy it was to trust someone when we had yet not been hurt ?  

Yes , each passing day brings a baggage in the upcoming one. Seems so silly sometimes that when we were kids ,we couldn't wait to grow up. Every kid imagines the grown up days when there would be no adult supervision.But dreams are naive when you are a kid. The lack of adult supervision translates to unlimited candy !!

Yeah... life is not caramel coated. Yes , getting old sure is not optional. But somebody told me a secret once  'only the body gets old'. What a delightful thought !I sure am not exactly the same person I was 5 years back. But I don't feel a day old than what I was back then.

And then there is growing up and growing old. Growing old is inevitable but growing up is a choice. 
It sure is possible to cling to the last traces of your childhood  through baby talk and silly lip movements. But it is a hell lot sexier to gracefully imbibe the wisdom aquired over the years and project an air of serenity. It does not mean to get rid of your playfulness  and naiveity but to seamlessly blend all of them into your confident self. For there is nothing more sexier than a woman who is confident in herself , doesn't matter then she is 22 or 78 !!